u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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