He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
