p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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