I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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