Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Who died my cat blue again?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
