just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
