It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
