he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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