I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
did you just send me my own nude
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
