it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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