I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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