In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
