If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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