Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
