I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We need to get me chipped asap
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
