I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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