it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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