god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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