Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
