Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
