What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
