You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
White coat. Heels.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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