East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
