The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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