Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
