How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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