If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
