My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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