I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
