If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
