dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize