i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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