The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
