I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
