First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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