I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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