it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
