I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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