there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
