Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
