we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
