My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize