I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
