why didn't you poke me back
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
