Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
