like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
did i walk over a car last night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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