Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
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