the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
