yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize