How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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