just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
True strength comes from lack of pants
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
