I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
