dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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