I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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