Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
