I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
