We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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