Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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