i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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