That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
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Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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