Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
