At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
