Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
