doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
